Oh my gosh! Thank you SO so much. I spent a lot of time writing (and re-writing) that parody over and over, so it’s nice to see that the effort was worth the while. I really have a lot of respect for the TSN fandom, and I didn’t want to disappoint anyone :)
The Jewni-community was certainly disappointed with the results of the MTV Movie Awards. Andrew was nominated for Best Breakout Star, Jesse was nominated for Best Male Performance, and The Social Network itself was nominated for Best Movie. TWO snippits of dialogue from the movie were even nominated for Best Line and STILL, nobody won anything!
Because of the Twilight franchise’s steamroller-success, it almost felt as though our votes had been cast in vain. Spirits were further dampened when host Jason Sudeikis, in an extraordinary moment of douche-ery, acknowledged Andrew’s presence, forced him stand up on camera, and then promptly moved on to speak to another audience member as a part of some lame, dismissive joke.
(Collective Fan Reaction to Jason’s ”joke” [gif via iseeyouthere])
And yet, despite all the turmoil, there were still a few silver linings to this otherwise cloudy event. Vigilant fans were rewarded with several sexy photos of Andrew with both Emma Stone and Robert Pattinson (Brit-Bros-4-EVA!). And if that wasn’t enough, Project Runway designer Christian Siriano got a chance to chat with Andrew in this intriguing red carpet interview!
It was through this strange pop culture intersection, that we were blessed with the following quote from Andrew regarding his opinion of Christian (LINK HERE):
"I didn’t hear anything you just said. I’m only looking at how… incredible you look. Across the board, head to toe. I assume the back is as good as the front…”
In all seriousness though, regardless of his sexual orientation I think it’s really cool that Andrew is so open about complimenting another guy on his style/looks. It’s nice to see he doesn’t have a single machismo bone in his body.
Personally, I think Andrew was laying the sugar on a little thick because SOMEONE *cough-Jesse-cough* refused to attend the awards show with him and now he’s a bitter Betty about the whole thing. Andrew Garfield! It’s not nice to use Christian Siriano like that- just to make Jesse jealous!
2. Armistice with McFassy Camp
Once X-Men: First Class promotion exploded on Tumblr, a new ‘ship was born. Michael Fassbender and James McAvoy had an undeniable chemistry with each other (both on and off the screen). The boys shamelessly played up that connection and got every single slash fan stirred up into a “McFassy" sex riot. Some shippers saw a shifting of political power and became worried that the new pairing would overtake the slash community and lead to the demise of Jewnicorn shipping.
From my small, biased perspective, I see no such danger on the horizon. All the Jewnicorn shippers I know who have embraced Mcfassy have done so IN ADDITION to maintaining their love for all things Jewnicorn. People should be able to “love” multiple fandoms without fidelity issues, right? If anything, I think the shipping of another exciting pair simply fuels our collective slashy fire. Besides, when is more delicious, guy-on-guy sexual tension NOT a cause for celebration?
3. This Fandom May Have Issues…
Jewnicorn shippers (myself included) made mad dashes to their local newsstands this summer to get the latest issues of Entertainment Weeklyand GQ. Tumblr nearly shut down as everyone’s dashes filled to the brim with previews of Andrew in full Spider-Man regalia. In the meantime, Jesse got to show off his “explosive” style in a G.Q. photoshoot and received some modest Tumblr dash-ing in the process as well. Every dutiful fangirl (and fanboy) had a reaction to both magazines not unlike the bowl of fruit loops you see in the above image. Ka-BOOOSSSHHH!
This summer the TSN-(Summer!)-A-THON was organized as a way to encourage the creative production of fan content related to The Social Network as well as promote camaraderie within the fandom itself. The theme of the ‘Thon was “The Seven Deadly Sins”. I remember that the initial reaction from interested parties was so great that the member limit to each team had to be expanded at least once. The successful mobilization of this event speaks highly of the TSN fandom community, particularly toward the team leaders and organizers. If there was ever any concern about a lack of support for this fandom, I think this movement should lay any of those worries to rest! Special shout out to Team Lust, who was recently declared the winner of the ‘Thon!
Comic-Con is like Mecca for nerds. The privileged might attend at their leisure, but most every geek hopes to make it at least once in his or her lifetime. Similarly, once there, I imagine there’s some pressure to make the most of the visit…
This summer Andrew made every Jewnicorn attendee’s dream come true when he bum-rushed the podium under the guise of a poorly dressed Spider-Man fan (see video below). He stripped himself bare of the costume, revealed his handsome mug, and gushed the following to the audience…
His breathlessness might have just been nerves, but I suspect that he was flustered because he actually meant everything that he said.
Andrew, apparently, cares about Peter Parker the same way that we care about our beloved fictional characters. He actually feels emotional resonance for Spider-Man and realizes what a humbling, awesome experience it is to be able to play a superhero for a whole new generation of geeklings. Seeing Andrew lower his wall of coolness and show off his inner fanboy, humbling himself as a nerdly peer- wow! It was quite an experience. And almost as hot as that picture of him fellating an ice cream cone from a few weeks ago…
P.S. Did everyone catch the Howard the Duck T-shirt?
6. He Loves Him. Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
Jesse was really working hard this summer promoting his latest movie, 30 Minutes or Less. During an interview with co-star Aziz Ansari, he was asked about his relationship with Andrew, specifically, if he still “kept in touch with him.”
After some awkward, garbled speech, Jesse finally sputtered out:
“No no no, I mean yeah, no, uh, I-I-I oh…I love him.”
Jewnicorn shippers? Correct me if I’m wrong, but this is a defining moment for the fandom because it is a verbalized reciprocation of Andrew’s love for Jesse. Yes? There are many interviews out there wherein Andrew heaps mountains of praise upon Jesse and doesn’t blanch when describing their relationship in terms of great affection or even directly using the word “love.” I believe this would mark the first time that Jesse has communicated a similar sentiment as openly as Andrew has in the past.
Of course, this is not any kind of “evidence” that necessarily supports the labeling of their relationship as one thing or the other, but I do think that it is a pivotal public moment because it cements whatever feelings they do openly share as being mutual. AND it proves that after all this time, despite busy schedules, timing issues, or even continental divides, the two of them still really seem to care for each other.
For me, a defining moment in my personal relationship with this fandom was after the MTV Movie Awards letdown. I was scrolling through my dash, lamenting the fact that Andrew lost…and then I saw that Gaysubtexts had drawn this:
I think this image is composed of eveything that makes the Jewnicorn/TSN fandom amazing. My feelings were sort of blah after the awards show, but then I saw this drawing and suddenly…everything felt right again. I realized that the disappointments of that evening were NOT the end of the world…
Just because Jesse didn’t show up with Andrew at one measly premiere doesn’t mean they don’t care about each other! They don’t need to be in each other’s presence 24/7 to prove that to us. The feelings are clearly there, regardless of how frequently they’re expressed. True, we don’t really know the exact dimensions of their affection for each other, but we don’t need to know, because real love defies measurement. Love isn’t something that can be quantified. It just is.
One day, we may get the opportunity to thrill over another NYC encounter. Other days, perhaps there won’t be anything on our dashboards for us to fap over..but, in the meantime, we can still enjoy the contributions of the creative people of this community who constantly amaze us with their talent and thoughtfulness.
For me, that alone makes being a part of this fandom worth the while :)
Let’s go ahead and close out this address with our special musical guest, Dido!
"Well, at first we thought of just "The Onyx Tour” because onyx is a black gemstone and it’s supposed to ward off evil. And they actually, this is real, like they have black stones and um, mines and stuff like that Indians go to and they’re, like, really scared to even approach them ‘cause some of them are so strong and powerful, not in a bad way, but just the energy from them is like a…spiritual thing.
And um, the whole concept with the tour that I liked about it was that onyx… whatever light is reflected on it, that’s what it becomes and it’s kinda like being a character in a show. Whatever light is put on me, you know, performing as an entertainer and artist, it’s like, it’s like, you’re not set in your ways, you just kind of express yourself and that’s what you become when that light is set on you…
So I thought the whole onyx thing was really, really cool, but then to have it in a show and to make it more general and to tie everything together-The Onyx Hotel- since I’m traveling so much and I’m always on the go and, you know, going I thought, you know, to call the show “The Onyx Hotel Show” there’s a lot of things that we can do to, you know, make it smaller ‘cause “The Onyx” just in itself is so broad, I think “The Onyx Hotel” kinda limits it a little, which is good, so it’s not all over the place.”
- Britney Spears (attempting to explain the creative rationale behind the theme of her 2004 Onyx Hotel Tour - transcription taken from theIn the Zone DVD).
I love you, but SERIOUSLY Britney?!! The “hotel” motif was just an excuse to have people dance around in their underwear atop erotically furnished motel beds. Need evidence? Click here for a link to a Youtube video for “Breathe on Me" I don’t really see the shout out to Native American gemstone-mysticism, but perhaps I’m just not going "deep" enough :P
For a few days now, thanks to a couple of excellent Jewnicorn fanfics, my mind has been unusually focused on the The Social Network. I was watching Glee yesterday (listening to Lea Michelle and Jonathan Groff belt out “Rolling In the Deep”) when all of a sudden I pictured Mark and Eduardo fight-singing with each other from across a mahogany table.
So I thought to myself: What if TSN had a soundtrack that was more Glee-like? Not a strange mix of hyperpop, showtunes, and 80’s ballads, mind you, but something more than just The Beatles, The White Stripes, and an obscure Belgian Choir group. No offense to Scala & Kolacny Brothers, I LOVE you guys!
For this reason, I decided to make a TSN-inspired mix. The progression of mood in the songs is supposed to sync up with the movie. We start out with happy potential, but then shift to suspicion and betrayal. Saddoes!
Like every good mix, I hope it hits upon a variety of genres and moods. Indie kids should have their fill with Stars, Voxtrot, B&S, and The Magnetic Fields. There’s also plenty of pop in the form of a Britney B-side, “He About to Lose Me” (for when Sean Parker Lady Macbeths Mark from ‘Wardo at the club) and Ke$ha’s bittersweet ballad, “The Harold Song.”
The Ryan Adams song that closes the mix, “Friends,” is eerily appropriate given the movie’s themes. It’s absolutely haunting when you listen to it within the context of a failed romantic relationship between Mark and Eduardo.
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Mating Season: Driven by an innate, insatiable desire to stick His dick in pussy and deposit His seed, a Man will take whatever steps are necessary...