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You mean….you don’t recognize Victoria before she became a vampire?

OMG!!! It’s her!!!!

You mean….you don’t recognize Victoria before she became a vampire?

OMG!!! It’s her!!!!

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Fan Videos of Questionable Taste (Twilight Edition)

Far be it from me to mock the efforts of another artist, or to criticize the need others may have to express themselves, but GEEZ-LOUISE there are some horrible Twilight fan videos out there. And today, I would like to break down two of them for you.

I hope to deconstruct rather than disparage (at least, not in a Perez Hilton kind of way). In all seriousness, I do admire these efforts. I think there are some moments, some very brief moments in these videos, where the music and image do actually sync up and create something wholly unique that I can genuinely appreciate. I realize that these people are not just throwing shit on a screen and seeing what sticks. Some of them are actually pouring out their hearts and souls here.  

And God knows, if I had the time, energy, and fanaticism…who’s to say I wouldn’t have gone down the same dark path as these two contributers?

Enough chatter. Let’s make with the movies. (runs to grab popcorn)

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Victoria’s Inner Monologue
Okay, so my friend Francisco reluctantly agreed to see Eclipse with me many moons ago. We were watching the movie intently for a while, but then we both began to snicker during the scene depicted above (when Riley talks to Victoria).
Why we got the giggles is hard to explain. I think the main reason is because the actress who plays Victoria stares off-camera for an inordinate amount of time. During this time, her face is the epitome of confusion. She looks absolutely dumbfounded, almost as if a raccoon has suddenly possessed her body, and cannot figure out what to do next.
During this time, my friend leaned over and whispered to me, loudly:

WHAT-ISS- Eeeinglish?!

Why he chose to utter this particular phrase is another mystery. I think he meant to suggest that Victoria was so confused that any attempt to explain something to her would only be met with more confusion. Her confusion was so profound, not even English made sense.
*crickets*
If you don’t think it’s funny or sensible, you’re NOT alone. If you do think it’s funny, congratulations! You’re crazy. Your certificate should arrive in your mailbox between 4 to 6 weeks.
Anyhoot, the phrase “What is English?" was immediately admitted into our friendship vernacular. It has since become a stock expression that we use to describe any moment of utter confusion. For example:

"She couldn’t figure out that I was using quotes from Mean Girls! I was all, like, “Get in, loser. We’re going shopping!” and she was all, like, “What is English?”. 

Victoria’s Inner Monologue

Okay, so my friend Francisco reluctantly agreed to see Eclipse with me many moons ago. We were watching the movie intently for a while, but then we both began to snicker during the scene depicted above (when Riley talks to Victoria).

Why we got the giggles is hard to explain. I think the main reason is because the actress who plays Victoria stares off-camera for an inordinate amount of time. During this time, her face is the epitome of confusion. She looks absolutely dumbfounded, almost as if a raccoon has suddenly possessed her body, and cannot figure out what to do next.

During this time, my friend leaned over and whispered to me, loudly:

WHAT-ISS- Eeeinglish?!

Why he chose to utter this particular phrase is another mystery. I think he meant to suggest that Victoria was so confused that any attempt to explain something to her would only be met with more confusion. Her confusion was so profound, not even English made sense.

*crickets*

If you don’t think it’s funny or sensible, you’re NOT alone. If you do think it’s funny, congratulations! You’re crazy. Your certificate should arrive in your mailbox between 4 to 6 weeks.

Anyhoot, the phrase “What is English?" was immediately admitted into our friendship vernacular. It has since become a stock expression that we use to describe any moment of utter confusion. For example:

"She couldn’t figure out that I was using quotes from Mean Girls! I was all, like, “Get in, loser. We’re going shopping!” and she was all, like, “What is English?”.