Mother: (anxiously) David!
Mother: Is Will Ferrell dead?
Mother: Will Ferrell, from Saturday Night Live. Is he DEAD?
David: I-I don’t know. I haven’t heard anything. Hold on. Let me check my computer…What did you hear?
Mother: I heard something on the radio about a man from Saturday Night Live. He did impersonations and I thought he was dead.
David: Wait..what?! You heard he was dead or you thought he was dead?
Mother: Well, wasn’t there a famous comedian from Saturday Night Live who died?
David: (suppresses groan) There are a lot of people from Saturday Night Live who are dead. (double checks computer) And one of them is NOT Will Ferrell. He’s still kicking.
Mother: But what about…what was his name? John Belushi?
David: (flabbergasted) John Belushi has been dead for a while now…
Mother: No wait, not John Belushi. He had a brother. What about his brother?
David: Like Will Ferrell, Jim Belushi is ALSO not dead.
Mother: Well, I’m SORRY. I know you like Saturday Night Live and I thought you would know if anybody had died recently. NPR was going to do an interview with Will Ferrell and I thought he was dead. Didn’t you say that he also did the voices of those cartoons you like to watch? The Simpsons?
David: (exhausted sigh of realization) Mother? Are you thinking about Phil Hartman?
Mother: (GASP) Yes! YES! That’s it! Phil Hartman. He’s the one who’s dead, isn’t he?
David: Yeah, he has been. For a while now.
Mother: How did he die? Was it drugs? Did he overdose? So many of them go that way…
David: I-I don’t know.
Mother: Why is it always the funny people who have such tragic deaths?
David: I DON’T KNOW!
Mother: Well for goodness sake, I was just curious! I’m sitting here, by myself, eating lunch in my car and trying NOT to think about work, so I called you to ask about William Ferrell. That’s all I wanted!
David: (gentle chuckle of defeat) Mother? You can call me anytime you like to ask about anything you want, especially during your lunching hour.
Mother: Lunching hour? HA! You are hilarious! Did you make that up yourself? You say the funniest things sometimes…