Ms. Li: The school received a phone call this morning from a Mrs. Johansen. She said that two girls came by her door to sell her chocolate bars and then suddenly refused to do so. Even after she offered $5 a bar. Or more than TWICE the asking price…
Daria: She was hypoglycemic. The chocolate would have killed her.
Jane: She passed out while we were standing there.
Ms. Li: Did she ask you to feed her the chocolate?
Ms. Li: How do you know it wasn’t for her family?
Jane: She has no family. She ate them.
Dear Glee Writing Staff,
Let me begin by saying that I think you are, generally, doing a fantastic job.
I appreciate the inclusive, life-affirming messages that Glee sends out into the universe every week. Your song selection is eclectic, and the performances you stage often contain creative emotional and visual contexts that are both innovative and entertaining. I must reluctantly admit that I am addicted to your show. Truly! I catch myself thinking about your characters during my day-to-day life as if they were real people I knew. It is because I care so much for these characters and the world they inhabit that I must speak my mind at this time.
I am sorely disappointed by your lack of character consistency as well as your inability to maintain satisfying story arcs throughout an entire season. Romantic interest is wildly arbitrary; far beyond believable teenage capriciousness. Character motivation is often secondary, and a sense of logical continuity is sometimes barely present in some episodes. Plots frequently hinge on ridiculous premises (“Brittany Vs. Britney”) or else require major suspensions of disbelief. I am glad that some characters have evolved beautifully this season and come to the forefront of the show in exciting, dynamic ways (Santana/Brittany) but it is a bittersweet pleasure to savor when we see that so many other characters have been marginalized or stripped of their three dimensionality (Mercedes, Mike, and Tina).
The worst of Glee is probably best encapsulated in your second season’s final episode, “New York,” which somehow managed to sacrifice both believability and entertainment value for the sake of, well, I honestly don’t even know.
Because their romantic tension was jerked around so much this season, the Finn/Rachel kiss felt strangely insignificant. That anti-climatic “moment” was not helped in the least because both of the club’s final songs were shockingly lackluster and generic when compared to the original songs that they performed at Regionals. Forget how the judges might have responded to the kiss! Realistically, I think those kidsdeserved to lose if they were writing and rehearsing their material for a national competition the day before they had to perform it.
If you were pressed for time then why would you waste so much of it on numbers like Mr. Schu’s painfully promotional performance of “Still Got Tonight,” (which just so happens to be Matt Morrison’s single off his debut album)? With the exception of Kurt and Rachel’s duet, no number performed created any real emotional context for the characters, especially not Sunshine Corazon’s swan song that was obviously added simply to bookend her appearance in the first episode of the season and allow Rachel to take off her horns and finally make amends with “nemesis.” And “Bella Notte?” Really? You used up precious ballad time just so that you could lull us into a false sense of security and then jerk our Finchel chain ONE LAST TIME?
Well, actually, I did marginally enjoy the dissonance that sequence created with the contrasting energies, but still…you wasted a Disney song on that?
What more do we know about ourselves? How have we grown?
What more do we want from life?
Season Two has finally finished and when we ask these questions of your main characters, there don’t seem to be any significant answers.
I know that you’re probably not suffering any ill effects from these oversights. If anything, I’m sure that Season 2 was an even bigger commercial success than you had hoped for, but please, for the sake of your audience: Get Your Priorities Straight. You’re storytellers, right? Well then tell us stories.
Here are my seven suggestions for how you can make Season Three better…
Blogger’s note: I’m so so sorry! This is the last time I post this image. I’m working on a series and I really wanted for them all to be a text posts and not picture posts. I’m boderline OCD like that. Not Ms. Pillsbury, fruit-washing, OCD, but fun-OCD. Like Jeff from Flipping Out….
I need help.
The Sorting Hat Says…RAVENCLAW!
I believe Glee has hinted that Lucy Quinn Fabray has no issues with scholarship, but even if you look past her academic proficiency I think it’s still obvious that the best Hogwart’s House for her to be in is Ravenclaw. Quinn’s characterization reflects a person who desires not necessarily to have the most power over others, but to be the best in a particular field. There’s a subtle difference there. One is about control. The other is about aptitude.
She’s demonstrated that she can learn from a given situation and acclimate to suit her needs. She worked as a convincing spy for Sue until she had to make the Glee Club her permanent home. This shows that she’s adaptable. Additionally, one need only look at her relationships with Finn and Rachel to see her pushing the right buttons to elicit a desired reaction. Whether or not that’s a bad thing, it still demonstrates the acute power of her observational skills.
Above all, Quinn is a cerebral character. Her battle with self-esteem and her secretive nature show us that she contemplates (maybe even agonizes) about her decisions more so than she dares let on. Despite any emotional turmoil she may feel, she still struggles to remain pragmatic.